are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
