I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
