well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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