fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
