Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
