This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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