3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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