you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
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Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize