sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
