blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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