I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Sober January is a disaster.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
