Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
