just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
