i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
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He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
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Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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