My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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