We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
