fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize