I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
