I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm really busy with my period
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