Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
