the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
