Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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