It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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