it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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