I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
