Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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