it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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