I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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