the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize