it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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