we have pet lesbian snakes
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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