He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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