16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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