Yo dont text me then not text me
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
