You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
