I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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