I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
