I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize