I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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