I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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