I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
