So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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