Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
