Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
