She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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