Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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