Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
