Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
