Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I want to be your penis for a week.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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