i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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