Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
