yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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