Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She bit a glass in half.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
