yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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