I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
