Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass

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(914): View more from New York

still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.

Fav 12 1950 4864
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.

Fav 11 4573 1334
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(859): View more from Kentucky

They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.

Fav 6 4291 997
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(775): View more from Nevada

You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.

Fav 22 1523 5286
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(630): View more from Illinois

Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.

Fav 9 1748 1238
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(519): View more from Ontario

What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?

Fav 1 521 738
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(407): View more from Florida

He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.

Fav 3 115 36
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(970): View more from Colorado

Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.

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