It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
