and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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